Highs and lows this week

Closing on our condo in Denver is today! That's the highlight of the week. 

I lost a pound on the scale this week. Another highlight. 

Now for the low. I interviewed on Wednesday for a job at my current company and didn't get it. I'm frustrated and not sure what to do. I didn't ask for any feedback because I was too frustrated. 

I don't think that I understand what is expected. I don't know what questions to ask to gain that understanding. At the end of the day, this is an insurance job. I'm not passionate about it but I did want to move up in the company. I have some people telling me that I do good work. I have some people telling me that I need to improve. 

Truth be told, I might cry. Hopefully nobody tries to talk to me. I feel like an utter failure. Not just from work but from home too. 

Hubby had choice words on how I'm not helping him sell his art. Nothing has been done. As I pondered it, there is an expectation he has for me that he didn't tell me about. So how can I do what he wants if he doesn't tell me what he wants? I guess I need to work on my mind reading skills. 

This is a personal post. If you read it, please comment. I doubt anyone will read it though. I'm not going to post it anywhere. I just need a place to vent and my blog is perfect for that sometimes. 

The struggle

I keep wondering if I make a difference. I know that I give back so little to my community. I only play piano for church youth group every other week. 

At work, I've been told that I'm a valuable employee. It's a struggle though because I don't feel valued. I don't feel that what I do makes a difference at all. 

I didn't get a raise. I didn't get a promotion. At work, I got a lateral move. Several managers has told me that I'm a valuable employee but the treatment I receive doesn't say that. 

Chances are, I may never see or feel the impact I make at church. I'd like to at least see it at work. Management, give this employee a raise. 

Intagrams and disappointment

I have had disappointments at work and home. While I can mull over these events and wallow in misery, I prefer to focus on positive things. 

I ran Color Me Rad on Sunday. That was a blast!

I recently discovered Youversion's verse in a photo option. This is my photo and I don't know what I was trying to capture but it made a great background for this verse. It's helped me to read a verse a day because I keep making these photos.

I will be brewing another batch of beer. Yay! Beer!

Soon, I will be returning to paradise. Packing will commence this weekend. I hope to have it all done by Sunday so as to not be stressed out. The economy and more specifically the oil industry is enough stress. I don't need more.

This guy is loving and sweet. 

This guy needs drugs or his vocal chords removed.

Thankful Thursday

I am always trying to focus on the good things and staying positive. That's why this is such an important post. Today, I am thankful for my new temporary schedule at work. It gives me time to take morning classes at my gym and blogging time. It gets so busy at work, that I often don't find the time to blog or read blogs. Blogging is an important part of my life. 

The blogging community has given me support and friendships. While I may be slow at getting posts up, because life happens, I am not ready to stop blogging all together. I definitely don't put blogging ahead of family or work either. Its just one other aspect of my life. I do want to thank everyone for the sweet comments yesterday. It encourages me to keep moving forward on my weight loss journey.

So its your turn now. What are you thankful for?

Make A Difference Monday

“Give, and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over, will be given to you. For with the same measure you measure it will be measured back to you.” (Luke 6:38 WEB)

This weekend was work! I was judging a college speech competition. Certainly I had fun and enjoyed most of the speeches. I did my best to give feedback to the students. At the end my reward was $100 cash and that was pretty sweet. The lesson here is to give back and it will be given back to you. Please stay tuned for weight loss Wednesday!

High Five For Friday!

Welcome to High Five For Friday, the beginning of the weekend. I don't usually count Friday as a typical work weekday since I'm ready to party down once I leave work. I hope you join me. Please follow me on twitter at @esthernorine for some tweeting fun. I usually fill everyone's stream with retweets of all kinds. There is no limit to what I'm retweeting and there's no rules.

Top Three  1-I'm super excited to be blogging on my new computer (the geologists doesn't like to share sadly.) 2-I'm having breakfast tomorrow with a friend at a crazy vegetarian cafe. It will be fun to catch up and eat yummy food. 3-I love hanging out with my geologist. We have tons of fun together.

Alrighty, its your turn to share your top three! I love reading your comments. Linking up with top blogger Lauren at From My Grey Desk Please stay tuned for Silly Saturday!

Serious Sunday

 

 Welcome to Serious Sunday. Today, I'd like to share some blog-working ideas. I wish all bloggers had GFC or bloglovin. It would make following everybody so much easier. I wish all bloggers would remove the word verification on the comments, also to make things easier. I would like to link up with more bloggers especially for Weight Loss Wednesdays. Finally, I wish the blogger app for iphone and ipad was much easier to use. I don't always have my computer next to me when I want to blog.

Thank you to everyone who reads my blog. I hope you find it entertaining and come back often.

Please stay tuned for Make a Difference Monday.

High Five For Friday

  High Five For Friday friends! Today feels weird to me because yesterday I had a day off work and I'm back to work today. It's strange how these things work out. Please remember to go HERE for my first little giveaway. I'm hosting the drawing tomorrow. Here's my five faves for the week: having a day off, having a Starbucks, cooking brown rice successfully, consuming beer on Wednesday, and consuming wine on Thursday. Food was really big deal this week. Please enjoy these lovely iPhone photos and please share you five faves. Linking up with Lauren From My Grey Desk.

Silly Saturday: Ode to iPhone

You can find the original post HERE. I was so pleased with my creative skills and decided the Ode should be reposted. Which is perfect for a Silly Saturday. On a separate note, don't you just love alliteration? Clearly, I do.

Ode to iPhone.

Your usefulness knows no bounds.

You take care of all my tunes.

Your apps number in the millions and I love all of the ones I have and have yet to discover.

My email at my fingertips and Facebook a tap away.

Losing you would be a tragedy.

I won't let that happen...again.

Dear sweet iPhone, your home is in my purse or hand. Never recklessly put on a table. Dear sweet iPhone, please work tirelessly forever for me.

Ode to iPhone.

All photos are copyrighted and mine and have absolutely nothing to do with this post except that my iPhone did take the photos. END

Weekend letters

Dear Sunday,
You are not my favorite day. So many times, I have to do chores. Preparing for the work week is a downer.

Dear Saturday,
We had our ups and downs. Floating on the lake with a refreshing brew was great. Our concert was more of a down. The shots were epic and the cheers were everywhere.

Dear Monday,
Please be kind to me. I would like to relax and sleep. I'll get a run in too. Hopefully my abs will be agreeable to the run.

Dear bloggy friends,
How was your weekend? Please do tell me of your exploits. ;)

Bittersweet

Happy Saturday lovely people! Today I have the pleasure of working after enjoying a full 40 hour week and that means I'm making overtime. Last night friends came over and we had a lot of fun. Perhaps too much considering how I felt when woke up. Still worth it.

Funny

Todays a work day. Unpacking. Packing. Hanging art on the walls. Getting to know the new home. Cleaning. Putting things away. It's been a long day. I deserve this beer.

Hard Work

Tonight, I worked extremely hard after work. It was like I was still at work buzzing away at the computer. I had a really good companion though. Chomps was rubbing his head (and fur) on my arm and sleeping soundly next to me.  At times, I could hear his gentle rumble of a purr.  He is a sweetheart and knows when to give me love. How does he know? He is a very smart cat.

Compliment

Tonight, my husband gave me a compliment and now I'm on cloud nine. I have a smile from ear to ear.

I always work hard to do my best. It feels so fantastic when I am recognized.

There is a lot going on in our lives right now and I can see a glimpse of God's hand guiding me to the resolution.  I need a few more miracles Lord but thank You for what You have given me today.

Amen.

Thanks

I am not sure what happened yesterday but today definitely turned out better. I accomplished so much! When I got off work, I did one load of laundry and I put the dishes away. That deserves tons of kudos.

Stress is a problem and when it gets to be too much I can get into all sorts of trouble: eating my emotions, wallowing in my emotions, losing my zeal for fun things.

I have crossed this bridge before.  I am trying to remember the way and using mindfulness techniques. At this point in time, I am not safely across the bridge but I will get there again.  Thanks for your prayers and support. I will send my prayers and support your way, if you tell me. Happy hump day friends!

The Machine

This blog is inspired by my shrinking confidence in my experience, my education, my strengths, and my network. Finding a job is demeaning. Finding the right job is worse than finding a needle in a haystack.

I have deemed job hunting The Machine. We are all pieces in this machine. The human resources department for thousands of companies is constantly sifting through thousands of resumes. Each applicant is another widget in the machine and sadly has very little control over their future of their career. Each manager is a sprocket in the machine incapable of finding the right candidate to fill the opening.

Thinking about The Machine is depressing.  It leaves little hope for the little guy looking for something better. My tiny silver lining is that I have a job. Its not a great job. It pays less than the last one and is essentially the same tasks that I hated in the last job. So much for moving ahead in the career world.

My pessimism is compounded by the fact that I didn't do anything wrong. I played by the rules. I found contacts and gave them my resume. I have nothing to show for my work. I expect that I will find that needle and I expect it will take a long time.